boom.
community is the answer. the question is, what is your struggle, jimmy? being back at jewell is like getting kicked in the crotch with a frozen boot made of emotions. less because of pain and more because of the whoa-what-the-heck-is-happening-to-my-reality feeling. i am a quiet person, generally speaking. when placed in a setting where the path of least resistance is keeping to myself, i will almost always keep to myself. summer falls into that category for me. my summers are spent in what some might call relational isolation, with the enormous exception of the wonderful time spent with my dearest lyndsay. being back at jewell, at least in these first weeks, tends to be more like relational freaking woodstock (thats probably the opposite of isolation, right?)
beyond the standard catching up and deciding with whom it is most important that i share my time, i am having difficulty knowing where to belong. i told myself at the close of last semester that i would let God take me wherever He saw fit. know through prayer and discussion i have a pretty good idea of where that is. now the problem is obedience. the easy answer is to find some kind of conflicting evidence. for example, lets say that i feel God calling me to play some kind of role in a particular organization. i think my flesh, in an effort to help itself avoid discomfort, is quick to point out that the organization in question has made me no offer, has expressed no interest in recruiting my help. surely i misunderstood the call.
wrong. i know where i need to be, now how to get there. do i openly force myself into groups whose influence would assist me in the infiltration of said organization? or do i start from the ground up, executing a more subversive rise to power? or is there (and yes, there probably is) a more peaceable solution that God will reveal to me in the weeks to come? patience.
patience.
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